bird brains and my garage

Thanks to all you non-recycling, car-driving, environment destroyers, global warming has brought me thunderstorms instead of snow in December. This in turn, annoys the birds who fly in circles around my neighborhood, causing them to look for dryer places to perch. And when my roommate accidentally leaves the garage door open, these little birds think that my bike handles are a wonderful place to take a rest.

Of course, hearing them chattering about how great a find my house was, I opened the door and interrupted the party. There was chaos. It was as if the cops had come to bust underage drinkers. Half of them headed immediately for the massive space that was my opened garage door, and it only took one or two turns around the garage before most of the rest discovered the same bright light. But two were slightly less endowed with intelligence, not unlike drunken college freshman; they aimed their little bird heads directly toward the small, dingy window at the back of the garage and proceeded to knock some sense into themselves.

Out is that way, buddy. And don’t you be trying this nonsense again.